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In this issue:

Behind the Scenes : HeartofAsiaOnline Stage 2 Modifications Complete

Dating Tips: How to Write a Great First Email Message to Someone You Just Met Online Part 2

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Behind the Scenes : HeartofAsiaOnline Stage 2 Modifications Complete

We have just completed a month long overhau of Most of the changes were done behind the scenes and not visible changes to our membership.
Here is an update on some of the more important  modifications.

Safer, cleaner dating service for sincere singles.

If you have ever used Yahoo personals, or eharmony. You probably have had bad experiences meeting many scammers, or those seeking sex not a relationship. These websites do not use humans to  monitor the behavior, actions and postings of their members. Often scammers will obtain muliple accounts,  and pretend to live in many different countries, just so you will exchange your email with them, and then they can scam you of your money. Sex ads, casual dating, one night stand type ads are prevelant.

Why this happens is that these mega dating sites, just don't care. They don't care who uses their websites, or what their agendas are.  They just want the volume of eyes and traffic.  If a scammer registers a hundred profiles, that is ok. It looks like more traffic to them. Since these sites are rich enough to advertise on television they will get plenty of new paid members to replace those that left in dissappointment and disgust.

My philosophy is different.

My philosophy is different. I believe finding a suitable life partner is the most important and life influencing task most people will ever be faced with. It is essential for your happiness that you do it right. 's job is to help you do it safely and productively.

I say My Philosphy. Because is my baby. I designed it, manage it, own it.  It is a very personal issue with me. I spend over 60 hours a week to see that provides a safe, pleasant place for serious singles to gather, to meet, and to find love and romance. I personally view almost each advertisement, and I also pay for more human eyes to help me. Matchmaking, romance and marriage are very
serious issues and policies reflect this. I welcome serious singles who are seeking life partners. I turn away scammers, time wasters, and those seeking one night stands.

Enhanced Survellance.

Now, whenever a member makes any change to any text at his or her profile, our team is alerted to the change and will look at it.  Having human eyes look at each bit of text, when the profile is first approved, and then continuing to monitor it  later whenever a member makes updates ensures that we maintain HeartofAsiaOnline as a  safer, cleaner place to meet. Attempts to add abusive, vulgar, or sexually explicit text are caught immediately. Depending on the gravitiy of the offense the member either receives a warning (and his offending text is removed) or he is permanently banned from using the service.


Scammers are still a problem. While other sites may have 1 of 3 profiles be those of scammers. we believe our ratio is far, far less. But still we are not free of all bad apples.
We are  vigilent, day and night to spot and to cancel the memberships of any
scammers or criminals. As far as we are concerned, even asking for a postage stamp indicates a scammer and the person should be permanently banned from our service. Sometimes the scammers are cunning and they ask for monies and gifts outside of our system. Perhaps they ask you for your personal email, or yahoo im, and then send their messages trying  to cheat you using those services. If that ever happens, copy the message and report it back to right away. We need your help to catch those that show their true evil intent.

Photos added to Notify emails.

Whenever a member sends an email to your mailbox, or sends a "Say Hi" to you, our team sends you an email to notify you someone is interested, telling you the good news.  The notify emails now include  a photo of the member who wants to reach you.  This way even before you log into your account at you see right away who is trying to contact you..

This also means is that it is more important than ever, for you to install a good quality
head shot photo at your profile. Because when you send emails or Say Hi's, your picture
will be the first thing the recipient sees about you. First impressions are lasting ones.
Make sure sure you start the relationship favorably by showing your beautiful or handsome profile.

Larger photos can now be uploaded.

The photo upload process, where you upload your photos to your profile, has been
improved.  Now you can upload larger photos. The new maximum size is 800 pixels wide by 600 pixels tall.  This size photo is large enough to  fill up the screen on most computers. If you have a large photo on your computer you can upload it to our website, then use our cropping tool to highlight yourself.  If your photo is still too large remember to email it to right away and we will be happy to install it for you.

Overal quality of photos has improved.

We have also installed a new system to process your photos after being uploaded to our site. It is designed to improve the quality of your photo. It keeps its quality much better, much higher than before. This is so that all the photos of our members will look their best. If you have already uploaded a photo, and feel it looks  small, or blurry, please go back and upload new photos.  You will be pleased with the results.

How to Write a Great First Email Message to Someone You Just Met Online
Part 2 (Continued from last month)

Take Turns

A first email is not an appropriate platform for you to ramble endlessly about yourself and your life. Even though you know (or hope) the other person would like to get to know you more, too much information all at once can be overwhelming. Keep the personal anecdotes to a minimum - one or less for the first email. Yes, they want to know more about you. No, they don’t want to know it all in one email.

 Alternate talking about yourself and asking questions to find out more about the person you are getting to know. Especially if you are the who writes the first email between you, alternately asking questions and providing information of your own will start the relationship off with a sense of openness and curiosity that will help the communication continue on the same way in the future. It also shows that you have good manners. Even though you are not speaking verbally, it is still possible for people to pick up on the subtleties of what you write.

 Writing endlessly about yourself tells people that they will never get a word in edgewise because you will monopolize the conversation and are a bad listener.  Taking turns asking for and giving information tells your partner that you care about what they have to say and that you are genuinely interested in learning more about them. 

 When you ask questions about your new partner, don’t write them in a list format. Instead, ask a question and then find something about yourself to relate to it. “I remember reading that you love horses. Have you ever owned any? I used to ride every summer at camp when I was younger.”  Be careful not to sound like a clone, or worse yet, a stalker. However, it is ok to point out a similarity or connection that you both have between you.


 An initial email doesn’t have to be very long, about a page in length will do. You don’t want to overwhelm your crush with questions or inundate them with information either. One trick to get people to open up about themselves is to ask for advice. Take a look at their profile again and find out what they feel they are good at. Then, ask them advice about it. For example, for a guy who is into foreign cars, you might want to ask their opinion on which would win a race – a Ferrari or a Porsche. For a girl who is into country music, ask whether or not they think there is too much of a pop-related culture in the country scene these days.

 Use this technique only once in the initial email and be careful not to overuse it in subsequent emails. It’s strictly to be used as a springboard into conversation and shouldn’t become the focus of your email. You also don’t want to sound false or overly flattering, so keep it short. Maybe add it as a brief post-script. Chances are, they’ll love that you asked and will take the opportunity to try and impress you with their vast knowledge of all things related to the subject.


If you have any questions about Heart of Asia, or the Foreign Bride process or suggestions for future eZines please email me at

Note: To contact me do not use the email address shown at the top of this eZine. That email address is not read by humans and is only used to automatically subscribe or unsubscribe from the eZine.


Fred Wahl

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