Here is your January 17, 2008 copy of the Foreign Brides eZine from Heart of Asia.
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In this issue:
Behind the Scenes : NEW Chat installed, Webcam and Audio Ready
Advice for Singles : What NOT to Say in Your First Emails (Part 2)
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Behind the Scenes : NEW Chat installed, Webcam and Audio Ready
We have completed replacement of the old Chat system with a new and improved one. If you ever had problems with the old system, please try Chat again TODAY. You will be pleased with how fast the connection is made, and how stable the connection is.
The new system also allows Webcam and Audio. This is a priviledge of Gold Membership. So if you are a standard member, just hook up your webcam, and microphone, then click on Chat with a Gold member. You will be able to see and hear the other person.
What NOT to Say in Your First Emails (Part 2)
Once you’ve sent out an email and receive one back, the communication process has truly begun; however, for a variety of reasons, things may not progress as quickly as you would like them to. It is easy to fall into the trap of being impatient, but watch out for it.
Remember that certain people may not have regular access to a computer or may be out of town or dealing with something in their personal lives that prevents them from steady communication at the moment. Don’t take this as a rejection. Don’t inundate them with emails, begging for or demanding their attention. Keep in mind that they agreed to have direct contact with you. Trust their intentions until you have reason not to.
Never, ever send threatening emails or emails demanding a response or an explanation. If, in fact, you were rejected outright by the lack of a response, let it go. These initial emails to a new friend or a potential lover will say a lot about you, so be careful not to turn someone off right out of the gate by letting your emotions run away with you. Give them the benefit of the doubt and if they do resume contact with you, don’t mention the span of time you went without an email from them. Right now, in these early stages, they don’t own you an explanation, so don’t ask for one.
Keep It Positive
The initial emails in a burgeoning online relationship are not an appropriate forum to disclose information about any criminal activities you were involved in, social diseases you may have contracted, bad break ups you experienced or other, similar subject matters. People who you have reached out to and who are reaching back, shouldn’t be subjected to your long, painful history or bitter childhood memories. What this information will tell the other person is that you are either crazy, desperate, trite or a combination of all three.
Even if you do have some skeletons looming in your closet, there is a better time and place to take them out and scare everyone. Revealing deeply personal information should be thought of as a process much like peeling an onion. Each layer should come off one at a time. While your personal information may garner sympathy or at least not surprise a person you are dating face-to-face, remember that dating online, specifically through emails, does not allow you the advantages of seeing and hearing a person when they speak. What you write will be taken with a much greater level of subjectivity than you think as that person will apply their prior knowledge to your situation and the outcome may be far askew from what you intended.
Other information that should not be disclosed in your first emails to a new friend or a potential lover is anything creepy or stalker-like. Don’t mention that you know where they live, how to get to their town or that you might “accidentally” run into each other someday. Its scary, especially for women, to think that someone could be lurking around, so don’t put the thought in their heads, not even as a joke, because it will probably backfire terribly and, at the very least, you’ll lose the relationship. Even if there is information you were able to dig up online, with innocent intentions or out of sheer curiosity, don’t disclose your research to the other person or else you can expect that they will probably stop all contact with you and report you as a stalker to the site you met through.
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